Chop Wood, Carry Water

Hi, it’s been a while. Last time I logged into the blog, it was because I was sad and felt that writing might make me feel, if not better, at least more grounded. Today, I’m not sad. I made a freelance deadline with plenty of time to spare. I read another chapter in this gargantuan textbook on the history of multiple sclerosis (for essaying). I sat on my porch, and between pages of a delightful reread of My Side of the Mountain, chatted with my neighbor and opened the screen door every few minutes or so to let Louise come in and out until she settled in one corner, dozing with her face on her paws. Then, I went on a run, and even though my music conked out on me within the first minute, I kept going for nearly two miles, listening to the heavy sound of my breath, dodging couples strolling on the sidewalks (or dodging the sidewalks entirely if they were uneven or downright broken), letting my mind wander where it needed to wander, stop where it needed to stop. The weather was balmy, the sun kind. I finished in front of my apartment, sweaty and motivated and that really good kind of tired usually reserved for these sort of late evening runs in late July light.

So, why am I telling you this? Simply because I want to. I stumbled upon a Zen quote through, of all things, the hashtags in an elite runner’s latest Instagram post. The hashtag? #chopwoodcarrywater. I didn’t recognize it, but had an idea it might be the new tagline for his elite team. However, when I clicked on the tag and it was flooded with posts, from so many accounts, I knew it couldn’t be limited to this (relatively small) group of middle-distance runners. Since I’m a detective, I Googled it and, of course, realized it’s a shortened version of this Zen proverb: “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”

I’m sure there are thousands of blogs throughout the course of Internet history* about this simple, yet profound idea. In fact, here’s one that even gets at the origin of the quote to provide a little more context. My summary: the key to reaching enlightenment is to keep doing the work of enlightenment, even if that work is (or seems) mundane or boring. The key to maintaining enlightenment is…to keep doing the work. You don’t climb the mountain to Nirvana,** dust off your palms, and call it a day. You eventually have to climb down the other side. It’s not luck that you have the tools necessary to do so. You’ve trained and prepared for both parts of this climb. You can chop wood, carry water to get yourself up. You can chop wood, carry water to get yourself down. In other words, Nirvana isn’t as simple as reaching a peak and staying there. Peaks come and go throughout life: relationship stability, financial security, home ownership, job satisfaction, etcetera, etcetera. Reaching one, or two, or some, or all of them,*** doesn’t guarantee happiness. True happiness comes when we aren’t laser-focused on the future or dwelling on the past. It comes when we can be wholly present in each moment, from one moment to the next.

After my run, and before typing the above, I washed the dishes in my overfilling sink. I took my time, carefully soaping and rinsing each one. The water was warm and felt wonderful against my hands. The soap smelled like a lemon meringue pie. I took off my sweaty shirt and relished the freedom of standing in my kitchen in just a sports bra, watching the golden sunlight seep away from the shadows in my backyard, the handful of lightning bugs popping up where the shadows were darkest. It felt so good to stand there after a run and do this necessary, normal, everyday thing. I felt so good. It may sound pat or kitschy or gooey****, but I noticed my presence in that moment and I want to start making it a habit of noticing my presence in more moments, as many moments as possible. When I feel good, I want to have the presence of mind to notice it, recognize it, name it, share it.

Next time I’m feeling anxious, or sad, or just plain off, I’m going to take a deep breath and think: chop wood, carry water. I can take on any challenge if I approach it one step at a time. That little reminder is enough to rebuild belief in myself. It’s enough to help me seize the moment, myself in that moment, and take the next step necessary.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

X

Sam

Notes:

*Zen Buddhism has been around for a long time, after all.

**I really, really tried to pick a Nirvana song that best encapsulates the proverb #chopwoodcarrywater, but none felt right. That’s probably the point and I’m not mad about it.

***Please, don’t tell me if you have. I’m happy for you, though. For real.

****Choose your fighter.